


Want your lips on mine

by solkatt (5sosninja)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 5+1, M/M, a mess is what it is, mentions of other members - Freeform, taeyong is a stupid boy in love, that's it that's the entire plot, what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 04:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12225954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5sosninja/pseuds/solkatt
Summary: Basorexia (n.):1. an overwhelming urge to neck or kiss2. a strong craving or hunger for kissingOr,Five times Taeyong wanted to kiss Doyoung and one time he actually did





	Want your lips on mine

**Author's Note:**

> Please keep in mind that I am still very much a beginner in writing and I have a lot to improve

The first time it happened, it was because Doyoung simply wouldn’t shut up. He was complaining about something, his mouth running a mile a minute. He didn’t know what exactly it was the younger was ranting about, having already tuned him out what he estimated was approximately fifteen minutes ago, and he showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. Doyoung sure knew how to talk. The members of the 127 unit were split up between two cars, on their way back to the dorms after a long, tiring day of recording and practice, and when Taeyong wanted nothing more than some peace, quiet and sleep, of course he ended up in the same car as Doyoung, even in the seat next to him, as the two of them got into the car last of all and the other seats had already been claimed. For all of the twenty minutes Doyoung had been ranting about whatever it was, Taeyong had been staring down on his phone, trying to beat his personal high score in his latest favourite game in order to tune out Doyoung’s voice, but to no avail. he could tune out his words, sure, but not his voice. And God, could his voice be annoying at times like this. With a sigh he put his phone away and took a chance to tune back in on Doyoung’s rambling, to see if he was quite finished yet. 

“-and when I asked what the hell his deal was, he had the nerve to blame this entire situation on _me!_ We wouldn’t even have been in this position in the first place if it wasn’t for him and his ridiculous idea to-” 

Oh, Doyoung was definitely far from finished. Taeyong had zero idea who he was or what he had done to upset the younger boy this much, but surely, whatever it was couldn’t possibly have been bad enough for Doyoung to still be talking after twenty minutes. But then again, Doyoung tended to blow things out of proportion. Tuning back out again, Taeyong had the brief idea that maybe kissing him would finally shut him up, and he startled a bit at the thought. He couldn’t kiss Doyoung, his group mate and, sometimes regretfully, close friend. He had no idea why that idea crossed his mind or where it even came from in the first place, but he decided to blame it on the exhaustion after a long day, the lack of sleep and watching one too many cliché romantic comedies lately. Yeah, that was definitely it. Nothing else. 

 

The second time it happened, Doyoung and Taeyong were busy in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for the members who were still sleeping soundly in their beds, trying to savour every last second of rest they could get before a full day of schedules. The two of them were the earliest risers out of the bunch, and they had fallen into a habit of preparing breakfast for the other members, living up to their roles as the “parents” of the group. They never talked much during their morning routine, trying to be as quiet as possible in order to not wake the others up before it was absolutely necessary, but Taeyong enjoyed the silence. Peaceful moments were few and far inbetween in the NCT dorms, there was almost always at least one member causing some sort of noise, so the moments he had in the mornings with no one else awake to cause a ruckus helped him get through the days. 

The moment of quiet he got each morning also gave him time to reflect. On how the group could work to improve themselves, on what opportunities the future might hold for them, on which sappy rom com he should watch next, and on personal problems. Like how lately, he had noticed a shift in his relationship with Doyoung. He didn’t know if the younger boy had noticed it too, or if it was all in his own head, but ever since the incident in the car, Taeyong couldn’t stop thinking about his friend in ways he never had before. Doyoung had always been a special case, the two of them constantly bickering and making fun of each other, but all of that was really just an act, a way to blow off some steam. Behind closed doors, when cameras weren’t rolling, he was Taeyong’s closest friend, someone who understood him in a way no one else could. Doyoung was always the first person he would turn to with his troubles, believe it or not. He had always thought of the taller boy as someone he could depend on, someone he could trust no matter what, someone who’d be there for him through thick and thin, but it wasn’t until after the incident in the car a few weeks ago he had started entertaining the idea of the two of them taking their already deep relationship even further. When he was younger, he had compiled a list of traits that he wanted in a future partner - someone kind and caring, who would always be there for him to pick him up when he was down, but at the same time they wouldn’t be afraid to joke around with him, tease him the way a best friend might, and he only had a short moment of panic when he realised that Doyoung met all those criteria and more. Taeyong had always imagined his future partner being a girl and very much not a member of his group, but he guessed that a boy, and a group mate at that, would be just as fine. It could only ruin both of their careers if their relationship got leaked to the media. 

Taeyong didn’t realise how far he had drifted off in his thoughts until he heard Doyoung calling out to him.

“Hyung, what are you doing?! You can’t put radish in Donghyuck’s bowl, you know he’s allergic! And put the remaining rice in Renjun’s bowl, would you? He needs all the extra food he can get, God knows the kid is far too skinny.” 

Hearing this made Taeyong think of just how much Doyoung cared for the other members. He might not always show it to the public, but Taeyong knew that his closest friend was the most thoughtful and caring out of all of them, even having each and every member’s needs and preferences regarding food down to a T. Make sure Winwin doesn’t eat any sugary foods after 9pm, because even though he is 19, going on 20, he will get a sugar rush and won’t be able to sleep later. Whenever they’re serving carrots, put aside a few extra for Jaehyun, they’re his favourites. Keep shrimps away from Johnny’s food at all costs, because if a shrimp even so much as touches what he eats, he’ll die. 

Taeyong’s heart swelled with affection for the younger whenever he thought of how his subtle acts of kindness, and in this very moment, he felt the overwhelming desire to kiss his friend. His body seemed to move on autopilot when he took a few steps in his direction, but he realised what was going on and refrained himself from moving even closer. He mentally punished himself for letting his self-restraint slip up even a little bit. Doyoung wasn’t his to kiss. 

 

The third time it happened, they were fighting. Taeyong didn’t know how the fight had started or what caused it, all he knew that the two of them had been going at it for an hour now, and it was horrible. This was by far the worst fight they had ever had. Sure, they had fought before, but usually they could keep their voices down and it would blow over quickly. This time, they were close to the point of screaming as they continued throwing insults, each new one more hurtful than the previous, and Taeyong was tired. So, so tired. He had never been one to enjoy fighting, especially not with Doyoung. So as his closest friend, whom he despised at the moment, yelled out his next insult, something within him snapped.

“You know what, Kim Dongyoung? I’m done with you, I’m so done with you. What right do you have to say all these things about me anyways, huh? You say that I’m being partial when it comes to the way I treat the members, you say that I’m not doing a very good job as the leader I’m supposed to be because I pay too much attention to some and not enough to others, and that I don’t treat them equally, but- what are you even doing in this group anyways?!”

As Taeyong said this, Doyoung froze up, and warning bells went off in his head. He was about to cross a line that should never be crossed, ever, but his last bit of rationality had abandoned him long ago, and so he continued anyways.

“You have nothing special to offer. Sure, your voice, but we also have Taeil, Jaehyun and Haechan. You being added to the 127 unit wasn’t in the least bit necessary. Your variety skills? It’s just you embarrassing yourself. Don’t even get me started on your dancing! Honestly, it’s a miracle that you’re keeping up with our choreographies. We’re supposed to be a dance focused group, so, remind me, why are you here?”

For a few seconds, the room went completely silent. Taeyong could hear both of their hearts breaking into a million little pieces as Doyoung ducked his head in shame and asked with a weak, shaky voice; “Is- is that really what you think of me?” 

Taeyong could see tears starting to form in the younger’s eyes as he turned around started making his way towards his room. Tears. In all the years Taeyong had known Doyoung, he’d only seen the taller boy cry twice. Once out of sorrow, when he received the news that his grandmother had passed away, and once out of pride and pure joy, when the Dream unit had their first ever win on a music show. And Taeyong was afraid that this time, maybe he wouldn’t be able to repair the damage he’d caused. 

The fight had played out in the living room of the dorms, and while Doyoung had retreated to his own room, Taeyong had chosen to remain in the living room. All the other members had gone out, anyways, after noticing just how bad it was getting. Taeyong leaned against the wall next to the couch, slowly slid down and started crying himself. What had he been thinking? How could he do that to his closest friend whom he loved dearly, and as of recent events, not in a very platonic way. Sure, Doyoung had said some quite terrible things himself, but Taeyong- Taeyong had crossed a line you just didn’t cross, with anyone, ever. Calling out Doyoung on his biggest insecurities, the ones he had told Taeyong about in confidence, was a new all-time low for him, and he regretted it. He regretted it so very much, and there was no way for him to rewind time and change what he had done. 

After only about fifteen minutes, Jaehyun and Ten came through the front door. Ten immediately rushed off in the direction of Doyoung’s room while Jaehyun went to sit down with Taeyong. Jaehyun looked at him with a disappointed look in his eyes and sighed, before he started talking.

“So while you two were having the fight of the century, Ten and I went to get ice cream and then we went window shopping. We were having a pretty good time together, when suddenly Ten gets this text from Doyoung, saying that your fight had ended worse than expected and that he really needed a friend as soon as possible. What the hell happened, hyung? What did you say to each other?” 

Taeyong, who had somewhat regained his composure from the moment Jaehyun stepped into the room, broke down again. He started sobbing, loudly, uncontrollably, and all the younger could do was sigh and wrap his arms around Taeyong in a hug. The older eventually calmed down and started retelling the final moments of the fight. 

“Jaehyun, I… I fucked up. Badly. I said… I said a few things that were too far below the belt, even for us. I- I asked him why he was even in this group in the first place. I said his vocals were unnecessary as we have so many good ones, and I told him his variety skills were really just embarrassing, and I even insulted his dancing. He… all those times he told me his insecurities believing he could trust me, and then I just go use them against him! He looked so broken, I can’t believe I hurt him like that! Sure, he said some pretty damn hurtful things to me as well, but what I said… it really takes the cake. I regret it, so much.” When he finished telling his part of the story, Jaehyun looked mad. Being mad was a rare thing for Jaehyun, but when he was- it was scary. 

“Are you for real, hyung? You weren’t kidding when you said you went too far. You know how important he is to our team, and you know how much he doubts himself in all those things you insulted him for, and yet you went ahead and did it anyways. I get that both of you sad some pretty bad things, I get that you weren’t in your right mind, but… wow. That was low,” came Jaehyun’s response to what the older had just told him. 

“I’m a horrible person, I know,” Taeyong said, voice cracking. 

“You’re not, hyung. Yes, you made a mistake just now, but doing one bad thing does not make you a bad person. I would tell you about all the things that make you amazing, but I think it’s better for you to figure that out for yourself. Now, as soon as Doyoung and Ten are finished talking, you’re going to go talk it out. You two have the strongest bond I know. I refuse to see it crumble.” 

Taeyong could only nod in response to his friend’s words. He was grateful to have a friend like Jaehyun, someone who could always knock some sense into him whenever he was going through a bad situation. After a short moment of silence as Taeyong regained his composure, Jaehyun spoke up again.

“You like him, don’t you?” he asked. The pained look the older gave him in response was all the answer he needed. 

When Ten eventually emerged from Doyoung’s room, Taeyong didn’t hesitate before he got up and made his way over there himself. He was determined to fix whatever could be fixed. He knocked on the door and was met with a weak “Go away, Taeyong.” He didn’t even question how the other knew it was him. They had learnt to recognise each other’s knocking patterns long ago. He leaned his back against the door and slid all the way down, planting himself on the floor. If they were going to have this conversation with a door between them, then so be it. He couldn’t afford any more arguing at this point. 

“I’m sorry, Doyoung. I really am. I never should have said those last few things to you, not only because calling someone out on what they are most insecure about is a horrible thing to do, especially when it’s your closest friend, but also because they aren’t true. We swore to never lie to each other, but I broke that promise. You are in no way unnecessary to this team. Quite the opposite, actually. Your voice is incredible and could never be replaced by anyone else’s. You’re not embarrassing yourself all the time, you really do have a great sense of variety. You aren’t a bad dancer. I know how hard you’re working to improve yourself, and your progress is amazing. I’m really proud of you. You’re so smart, too, you always have the best solution to everyone’s problems, and you’re so caring, always looking out for all of us. NCT wouldn’t be the same without you. I’m really sorry I ever made you feel like anything less than you are. Truly.”

Both of them were silent for what felt like ages to Taeyong, before Doyoung decided to speak up. 

“I’m sorry, too. You are in no way a bad leader. I know it must be hard- constantly having to make sure we’re all okay and shouldering the responsibility for our actions. I understand that you can’t possibly pay attention to everyone at the same time in a team as large as ours. I know you’re doing the best you can, and i need you to know that it’s okay if you can’t always handle it. It must be a heavy burden and I’m really sorry for saying what I did. It’s not humanly possible to be everywhere at all times and taking care of every single one of us, so I shouldn’t expect that of you. Actually, thank you for really doing your best to take care of us and keeping our family together. You’re the most amazing leader I know:”

When Doyoung finished speaking, he opened the door, making an unexpecting Taeyong fall back in surprise. This made the younger burst out in laughter, and the sound of it made warmth and happiness spread through Taeyong’s chest. He was glad that Doyoung seemed to feel okay again, even if the laughter was at his own expense. The taller of the two helped him up, though, and gave him a hesitant smile once he stopped laughing.

“Are we okay now?” Doyoung asked, his smile wavering slightly. Taeyong felt a smile of his own spread over his face at the sight.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that? But I’m okay if you’re okay. Let’s put this behind us. I never want to fight with you ever again,” Taeyong responded. This was enough for Doyoung to pull him into a tight hug, and he stopped breathing for a second, heart stuttering in his chest. Hugging Doyoung had once been as easy to him as breathing, but once he became aware of his feelings for his closest friend, suddenly the room seemed to get hotter every time it happened and he could feel a jolt of electricity surging through his body. In this moment he also realised that if he just took one small step back and stood up on his tiptoes ever so slightly, he could finally capture those lips in the kiss he had been fantasizing about for quite a while now. But, now wasn’t the right moment. If Lee Taeyong ever were to kiss Kim Dongyoung, it would have to wait.

 

The fourth time it happened, they were watching a movie together, just the two of them. It was something they liked to do whenever they found the time, picking a movie completely at random and pretending to be movie critics. They had even created a system for how they picked a movie by writing down cliché movie tropes on notes and put them in a jar. Whenever they were about to watch a movie, they mixed around the notes in the jar, picked three and then went to search for one that matched all of them. Today they had gotten “meet-cute”, “avoidable misunderstanding” and “kissing in the rain”, which had lead them to find a not very well known sappy romcom, one that Taeyong miraculously hadn’t watched yet. While Doyoung didn’t enjoy it at all, Taeyong was absolutely delighted. Horribly cliché as romcoms might be, to him, there was just something magical about the tales of a white cis heterosexual American woman and a white cis heterosexual American man in their early 30s meeting, falling for each other, fighting and then making up again. This time around, though, Taeyong had to admit this one was bad, even for his low standards. An hour into the movie, the man and the woman who were going to end up together at the end had fought no less than three times, and they had only known each other for a month. Taeyong failed to see how they were going to fix this, but he knew they were somehow going to make it. They always did. 

“How much do you want to bet they’re going to talk this mess out outside, and as soon as they’re finished and everything is just fine and dandy again, it’s going to start raining and generic white dude number 48385 is going to end up kissing generic white girl number 56799 passionately and then they’re both going to be sick but it’s fine because they ‘have each other’?” Doyoung asked from right beside Taeyong, only a now empty bowl of popcorn separating them. The comment surprised him, as Doyoung had remained oddly quiet throughout most of the movie, but he let out a chuckle.

“I think it’s safer for me to not place a bet here, as I’m pretty sure it’s most definitely going to happen,” he replied. Doyoung reached over to flick his forehead.

“You’re being boring,” he said. “But I guess you’re right. This has to be the most predictable movie we’ve watched yet, and probably the worst one as well.”

“Have you already forgotten about that one we watched two months ago?” Doyoung visibly shuddered at Taeyong’s question. 

“Don’t remind me! I’d just managed to repress that memory!” Taeyong laughed again and removed the bowl from between them since there was no reason for it to be there anymore. This caused Doyoung to scoot closer and lay his head to rest on Taeyong’s shoulder. His breath hitched in his throat as the sudden contact caused what felt like a jolt of electricity surge through his body. Despite this he didn’t make a move to push his Doyoung away. Rather, he put an arm around his shoulders instead. Taeyong really didn’t understand why he kept torturing himself like this as the heat from Doyoung’s body made his heart speed up even more. Oh, how he hated being in love with crushing on his best friend. 

No more than a few minutes later, the scene they had predicted finally arrived. The two main characters of the movie stood outside and were finally trying to solve whatever conflict had last occurred between them. Taeyong couldn’t exactly say he had paid attention to what it was about. To be more honest than he’d like to, he’d been busy trying to look out for Doyoung’s reactions. Doyoung, however, had kept a neutral face throughout the entire movie so far. This confused Taeyong, Doyoung was usually very open with exactly what he thought about the movies they watched and why, but he wrote it off as his friend only having an off day. He made a mental note to himself to bring it up later, after the movie was over. 

“Oh look, it’s raining. Aaaaaand they’re kissing,” Doyoung commented, pulling Taeyong out of his thoughts. 

“How horribly cliché,” Taeyong muttered. And just because the universe hated him that much, of course it started raining outside for real as well. This made Doyoung laugh, that loud, open, carefree laugh he only had when he was most happy and relaxed, and Taeyong’s heart might or might not have skipped a beat or two at the sound. This was exactly how he always wanted his best friend to be; happy and without worries. Stress wasn’t a good look on him. 

“I hope Yuta and Sicheng make it back from the store without catching a cold,” Doyoung commented once he calmed down a bit.

“Oh really, didn’t think you would care,” Taeyong said, just to tease him a little. Of course Doyoung cared. That’s what he did best, even if he didn’t always show it. 

“Shut up, Taeyong,” Doyoung muttered in response, gently slapping him on the back of his head. Now it was Taeyong’s turn to laugh again. 

As the movie credits started rolling, he stopped to think that cliché as it might be, he wouldn’t mind pulling Doyoung out in the rain right now and kiss him, just like the couple in the movie. He didn’t like to admit it, but he was quite the hopeless romantic. But, he knew that Doyoung would probably just complain about how cliché it was and that they would both catch a cold. The thought made Taeyong smile to himself. Doyoung’s grumpiness was what started most of their quarrels, but Taeyong wouldn’t want him any other way.

He felt Doyoung’s head getting heavier on his shoulder and looked down to notice that he had fallen asleep. He couldn’t blame him, the movie was enough to put anyone to sleep. Feeling tiredness wash over himself as well, Taeyong rested his head on Doyoung’s and drifted off to sleep himself. They could kiss in the rain another time. 

 

The fifth time it happened, the entire group were out on a picnic on a rare day off. It was a warm and sunny summer day and they had decided to go to a park in the outskirts of the city to spend some time together relaxing for once instead of working. Taeyong was lying down on a blanket under the shade of a tree, eyes closed, just listening to the sounds of the park. He could hear birds chirping, children playing, his members talking and laughing, and of course, Chenle screaming. It was a lovely day, and if he were to stay here for a couple more hours, he’d be a happy man. Or so he thought, until he felt a water balloon land on his forehead and splash water all over his hair and face. He opened his eyes to see who dared disturb him when he finally got a chance to rest and was met with Doyoung smiling down at him. 

“Get up, loser,” he said. “We’re having a water fight and you’re participating. You don’t have a choice.” Taeyong groaned at the younger’s words, but let himself get pulled up to a standing position by him anyways. Although he would much prefer to spend the day relaxing and keeping himself dry, it really wasn’t often all members could gather like this, might as well let themselves be young and have fun while they can. He could also not refuse Kim Dongyoung ever, whispered a voice in the back of his mind. Shut up brain, Taeyong thought to himself as Doyoung handed him an already filled water gun and the two of them started running towards the battlefield. 

Chaos. That was the only way to describe the scene in front of him as they reached the rest of the group. Water balloons flew everywhere, members were chasing after each other with water guns raised high and at least half of them were screaming while doing so. They seemed to be split into two teams, just like when they filmed the video for Switch back during smrookies days, with the addition of the members that had joined since then. Taeyong smiled as the familiarity and nostalgia washed over him and went to join his team. 

Taeyong was on a _roll._ They were on their third round of the game and so far this round he had managed to eliminate Jaehyun, Johnny, Mark and Jaemin from the other team and he had his gun directed at Renjun when suddenly he felt a splash of water hit his back. He heard a very familiar laugh behind him, the one laugh that could make his heart race at approximately a billion miles per hour, and turned around to find himself face to face with Doyoung. 

“Gotcha!” Doyoung yelled, and Taeyong, despite being wet and cold, started feeling warm all over. What a beautiful sight his best friend was, eyes glistening with childish joy, smile wide on his face, wet hair sticking to his forehead, even wetter clothes clinging tightly to his body. Taeyong felt his breath catch in his throat at the sight and the overwhelming desire to lean over and pull him into a kiss came over him once again. But the moment went away just as soon as it arrived as Yuta came running for Doyoung, wanting to avenge Taeyong, the most valuable member of their team. Doyoung ran away from Yuta as fast as he possibly could and Taeyong calmly went to sit down with the rest of the eliminated members, not being able to shake the image of Doyoung emitting the light of a thousand suns out of his mind. He was such a goner, and he didn’t even try to deny it anymore. 

 

Bright lights. Confetti. Loud cheers. Bodies surrounding him and dragging him into a group hug. A microphone being thrusted into his hands. Taeyong felt overwhelmed, too many things were happening at once as the hosts of this award show announced that this award went to NCT 127, and of course, as the leader, he was expected to give a speech. He felt completely lost in the moment, forgetting every single word he had prepared beforehand just in case they won, when he felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He didn’t even need to look up to know it was Doyoung. At the end of the day, it was always Doyoung he could go to for support. Behind the constant bickering. Doyoung was the one that understood him like no one else and often even reached out to him first, that’s how well the younger could read him. With his pillar of support right there by his side, Taeyong felt ready to give the speech. He said all those words he had prepared about the group and himself being grateful to the company, their company seniors, nctzens and their families for giving them all of these amazing opportunities that lead to them getting this award. He also thanked the members, because they had all worked so hard, together, for themselves, for each other, to get to this point. Taeyong couldn’t quite believe his luck for having ended up with such amazing members. 

Afterwards, backstage, as they were waiting for the vans to come pick them up and take them back to their dorms, Doyoung pulled him away from the rest of the group and into a secluded corner of the backstage area where no one else could see them. Taeyong worried that they might miss the vans arriving, but put his faith in the members calling either one of them if the vans arrived before they headed back. He wasn’t one to pass up an opportunity to spend some alone time with Doyoung. He did wonder why now, though.

“You looked like you needed a quiet space and a hug,” came the taller’s response. Doyoung sent him a warm, closed-mouthed smile and was about to pull him into a hug when he felt an impulse telling him, now. It’s now or never, now is when you should finally give in to your desires and kiss your best friend, backstage at an award show where it was very much possible that someone, anyone, could walk in on them at any time. But for once Taeyong decided to ignore those voices, and before the younger could pull him into that hug he put a hand on his chest to stop him from doing so. A look of confusion appeared on Doyoung’s face but it quickly morphed into a look of shock and surprise as Taeyong instead put a hand on the nape of his neck and pulled him down so their lips could meet. 

In the split second it took for Doyoung to respond to the kiss, Taeyong had time to worry about having screwed up and feel the want to go dig himself a hole to die in, but when the one he had fallen in love with finally did respond, it was everything Taeyong had ever hoped for. He had kissed people before, he knew what it felt like, but he had never had quite as strong feelings for anyone else he had kissed as he had for Doyoung. He knew not to expect the feeling of fireworks from a kiss, but nothing had prepared him for the hurricane of butterflies that swept through his heart and his stomach. When he pulled away, he was panting from being out of breath, but he felt euphoric. He did it. He kissed Kim Dongyoung. But then he stopped to think that after just kissing him completely out of the blue, they also would most definitely need to talk about it.

“Sooooo…. do you want to talk about this now or later?” he oh so intelligently uttered, a blush creeping up on his face. Doyoung remained quiet for a short moment as he thought of a response.

“Later. Let’s talk about this later, when we get back to the dorms. For now, just… just kiss me again.” And so he did.

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up way longer than I thought whoops
> 
>  
> 
> Comments would be greatly appreciated!!!


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